to a teenager

This is a reply to an email from a young teen that I know. She's having some fights with her parents.

"Girly, EVERYONE gets in fights with their parents. I'm no exception. It's def a stupid girl thing too though! :-D It's okay to be mad and confused. Just remember to take your time and be real with them. And by far the most important is to be open to their ideas. This is the stage when you think you know everything.
A little hint that some adults don't get: the point where you know everything comes when you realize that you know little to nothing and use common sense to figure things out. It's not about "knowing" more; it's about how you approach each item or task. Few people go at the same thing the same way. There are many ways of doing most things. Parents are focused on showing you the easiest ways so that you don't get hurt or have things cost you too much."

The reason that I posted this is that so many people think they KNOW stuff. They may know a lot of stuff, but it is usually irrelevant. They let their egos get in the way. I do it too! But, again, it goes back to the approach. If your fundamentals are sound, your approach will be too. You will be able to tackle anything. You may need help bringing it down! BUT! You already knew that!

We are a social species. Why we are built that way, I'm not sure. However, we are. And that means that we NEED each other. We NEED guys and girls nights out. We NEED a drinking buddy. We NEED wing men. We NEED lunch dates. We NEED our colleagues. We need each other. We need help and we need it often.
Mk, I'll stop beating this dead horse. You get the idea.

I think this sums it up nicely

As I delve further and further into people, there are a few things that remain the same. One of which is each person's wound. The wounds are not unique. The way each person experiences them are unique. Here's another view from a woman's side of things. It is out of a great book that I would recommend to anyone trying to understand women or yourself if you are a woman.

"Few have ever felt so pursued. Sometimes we wonder if we’ve even been noticed. Father was too busy to come to our games, or perhaps he jumped ship altogether. Mother was lost in a never-ending pile of laundry or, more recently, in her own career. We come into the world longing to be special to someone and from the start we are disappointed. It is a rare soul indeed who has been sought after for who she is—not because of what she can do, or what others can gain from her, but simply for herself. Can you recall a time when a significant someone in your life sat you down with the sole purpose of wanting to know your heart more deeply, fully expecting to enjoy what he found there? More people have climbed Mt. Everest than have experienced real pursuit, and so what are we left to conclude? There is nothing in our hearts worth knowing. Whoever and whatever this mystery called I must be, it cannot be much.

“In fact,” we continue, “if I am not pursued, it must be because there is something wrong with me, something dark and twisted inside.” We long to be known, and we fear it like nothing else. Most people live with a subtle dread that one day they will be discovered for who they really are and the world will be appalled."

It is a wonder why women got jobs. Pffffft.

Initiation

This is a reply to a friend who asked about me having a tough time with life. Now, this is a bit of a general thought on the past year.

"I've always tried to strive for wisdom. If I receive nothing else in this life, I choose to become wise. I feel as though if I want or need anything, wisdom will bring it to me.

I know I kind of dodged your Q and I think you deserve an answer. I believe that 2008 was that fire that defines me now as a man. Things only get harder and harder in life, but you go through initiations. I became a man last year. I had to be put to the flames before I could be forged. In life, there is no such thing as a cold-forge. Only hot. 2008 was THE hardest year of my life so far. 09 is looking better, but only time will tell. I still have many a wound to break open and clean before it can heal correctly. We are all scarred. But to become wise, we must have knowledge coupled with experience. I believe that I have knowledge. I'm just going through the experience now. Experience is often a VERY hard thing to go through. Sometimes it is hard to lift your arms. But if you are to climb Long's Peak, you must life each leg many a time when it is most difficult. You will fully believe that you cannot lift your knee even one more time. But what you do is what matters.

Well, I've stood on the summit several times. Each time I go, this lesson is only reaffirmed."

Loving everyone

"You know, you don't have to like everyone in your tribe, but you do have to love them."

There are a few people in my life that I don't really approve of. And sometimes it is really hard not to just let them go. But we must slog on in our relationships. It means more to people to have love than anything else.

Words of wisdom

I understand that I do not understand.

Everyone is a work in progress.

In other news, I cannot wait for two things. 1. To see the look on Heather's face when she sees her birthday/Christmas present. 2. To get my new rock shoes and get climbing!

hmmmm part 2

"True politeness consists in making everyone as easy and comfortable as one can."

So, I had a short talk with Jon last night. I prayed a lot before, during, and afterward. I asked for wisdom several times. As we got into our talk, I realized I needed a lot more than just wisdom. I needed patience and courage too. You see, Jon has seen some tough times. I would guess that he's seen a lot more than most. I fought hard to keep myself from thinking that my ideas were better than his. It wasn't about what was better; it was about what was right.
Jon has a tough time hanging back and just listening to anything. If he feels attacked, he will launch an assault. I felt I was on a pretty fine line as I spoke. I wanted to focus on the problem. He had hurt me with a couple of things he said and then he proceeded to insult me and other people as well. I needed to bring this up to him in a way that he wouldn't feel as an attack.
I feel like I brought up to him the part where I was hurt in his calling me a chauvinist. I don't know how well I did with the other part. Maybe it will just take time. I feel like I got my first point across. I have worked very hard to understand people, specifically women, but men too. And when he called me that, it was basically telling me that I had gone in the opposite direction.
I feel better about it, but I feel like I've got a long way to go. until later...