I think this sums it up nicely

As I delve further and further into people, there are a few things that remain the same. One of which is each person's wound. The wounds are not unique. The way each person experiences them are unique. Here's another view from a woman's side of things. It is out of a great book that I would recommend to anyone trying to understand women or yourself if you are a woman.

"Few have ever felt so pursued. Sometimes we wonder if we’ve even been noticed. Father was too busy to come to our games, or perhaps he jumped ship altogether. Mother was lost in a never-ending pile of laundry or, more recently, in her own career. We come into the world longing to be special to someone and from the start we are disappointed. It is a rare soul indeed who has been sought after for who she is—not because of what she can do, or what others can gain from her, but simply for herself. Can you recall a time when a significant someone in your life sat you down with the sole purpose of wanting to know your heart more deeply, fully expecting to enjoy what he found there? More people have climbed Mt. Everest than have experienced real pursuit, and so what are we left to conclude? There is nothing in our hearts worth knowing. Whoever and whatever this mystery called I must be, it cannot be much.

“In fact,” we continue, “if I am not pursued, it must be because there is something wrong with me, something dark and twisted inside.” We long to be known, and we fear it like nothing else. Most people live with a subtle dread that one day they will be discovered for who they really are and the world will be appalled."

It is a wonder why women got jobs. Pffffft.

This is a tribute to a woman's heart

The heart of a woman is more beautiful than anything else on the planet. The line "I hear violins" comes to mind. I hear .... vio... lins...... One thing that I also hear, is the sunrise..... at 14,000 feet.

I dosed off at about 1145pm, August 4th, 2006 in my BMW 325i. I was woken up by a random boy from my church assigned from my pastor, Josh Ratslaff. He knocked on my window asking if I was "Chad" and then to "wake up." Six hours later I saw the third most beautiful thing I had ever seen in my life. (see attached) The second, you will have to ask me about when you have five minutes. The first is a woman. A woman is by far THE most beautiful creature that God has created on the face of the planet. I would imagine that Brooke would have taken her small fingers and, with God's help, orchestrated something like this....

A tribute to woman's heart.....

biggest encouragement I've had in a while

"it doesn't matter how many women want to have children - you only need ONE that doesn't"

rule of 20 and how to keep a woman

I'm finding myself more and more defining my thoughts on how to love a woman. The past few months have been... an experience. I'm learning so much. Anyway, on topic! I have re-read the post on the rule of 20 and I'd like to add a few thoughts...

In the new version of the story, the wife was awesome and handed her guy a drink and went back to continue prepping a meal for him. She did this because she cared about him and wanted to do something special for him. It was not required of her. It was not her job. She did it because she wanted to. Whenever a lady does this for you, show some appreciation. Things like a word of praise over her efforts or a hug and a thank you/I love you, etc. She will react so well to it. Most men probably have no idea how many miles they would cover doing this.
Now, this isn't to say that you should just pander all of your attention on her from the moment you get home. This is about helping people get along and maybe even love each other. Take your 20 minutes. Let your mind relax and break for a few. That's more than okay, it is appropriate. When you "wake," wander in and offer to help. I find a great reaction in this even if there is jack to do because she is basically finished. That part is irrelevant. The point that is relevant is to offer some help and possibly take care of a simple task. She is more than likely to take into account that we are tired and our lack (I can't cook to save my life) of cooking ability. She'll probably give you something you can do that requires little to no cognitive ability. So you don't have to worry about mixing things or measuring things or ANYTHING that requires thought.

You should never be afraid to care. EVER. If you keep yourself from caring or trying, you will be doomed to singledom. You know what the worst part is? A woman will ALSO be doomed to that same curse. Once you've offered to buy that pretty girl a drink; once you've asked her out; once you've met her parents, make her day. And don't do it once or twice every month. Do it every other day or a couple of times each week. If her heart is fed, everyone will eat well.

hmmmm

I'm looking at a quote that I'm going to change a bit.
"A boy at home is safe, but that is not what boys are built for." Original credit to John Shedd.
I feel like I'm learning to become a warrior. My current battle exists in a relationship with a friend of mine that I've known for a couple of years now. In the past few weeks, he has started to express his thoughts on relationships, love, and women. He has spoken of "their place" in society. I feel like I'm being tossed a small challenge. I didn't realize it until last night though. I think that it wasn't a challenge until it hit me closer to home.
To be frank, I find myself in the company of degerates and low-lifes on what I feel is an all too regular basis. Anyway, this friend of mine, I'll call him Jon, has taken an interest in moving on from his relationship. I think his ex is not completely unjustified, but she broke his heart. That's not an easy thing. Well, Jon was feeling a little bit better about himself and found a girl to talk to the other night. He was all sorts of excited to tell me about it. And I was happy for him. Then he started asking what I knew about this particular girl. I've known her for a few years (4 I think) and have a decent idea of what she's about. I feel like she's a good girl who is a bit misguided. Anyway, she's seeing another guy I know a bit less. He has expressed to me that women "are things. The drink in my hand: a thing. The keys in my pocket: a thing. The couch and pillows on it: things. That girl: a thing." He told me this right after my crush at the time kind of dropped me and I was a bit down for it. So, he's seeing 4ish different girls right now.
When I told Jon about this, I mentioned that the guy was kind of a chauvinist. Now, I wasn't sure at the time, but this is a direct definition of the word male chauvinist: "noun. activity indicative of belief in the superiority of men over women."
He immediately shot back, "Oh you're a chauvinitst too! We wrote a paper about how women should just stay in the kitchen and leave you alone when you get home from work!" The "paper" he talked about was here. That was explained to me by a woman who's wisdom I will never begin to comprehend. I wrote the "paper" to help guys and girls get along better. I also wrote it with the idea of showing guys that once you take your time, you need to go after your girl and pursue her. Decompress, SURE! But once you are "normal" again, appreciate her for taking care of you; reciprocate things to her. That is not chauvinistic. It is merely asking for a little space. Then it is taking care of the girl.
My battle is to encourage him in his quest for a girlfriend and show him a little bit about being a leader (you have to be a servant!). And I don't know how to approach it yet. So, if you have any words of wisdom....

enlightenment

I find that the romance in my life is frustrating in recent months. The funny thing is that I don't want kids. Now, I love kids! They are a blast! But I don't have the desire for having my own. This, translated, means that my options for dating are cut down to almost null. My ex and I broke up for several reasons and among them was a difference of opinion here. She wants kids.
I find that most women want kids. They may not all want them right now, but definitely in the future. At first, I thought this was frustrating. Now, I think it's funny. I started basically a survey to find out roughly the ratio of women who want kids to those who do not. I'd guess that I've asked a little over 100 in the past month or so. All but 3 want kids. Two of them are married; one to a man and the other to her job. I hear that the third is currently in a relationship. There is a qualifier to be considered as I see many more women than 100 in a month: they must be within my dating age range (22-31) and not obviously married. I just keep on laughing!

Anyway, enlightenment! I was reading a pretty good book the other day and read:
"You see, what we have now is a world of uninitiated men. Partial Men. ... The passing on of masculinity was never completed, if it was begun at all. ... That's why most of us are Unfinished men. And therefore unable to truly live as men in whatever life throws at us. And unable to pass on to our sons and daughters what they need to become whole and holy men and women themselves."
Then things started to make sense a little bit. You see, I've always enjoyed being a teacher and/or adviser. Now, I'm not real sure what that entails, but this is what my gut is telling me. I wonder where it will take me.

hmmmmm

I've noticed a reoccurring theme that has been coming up again recently. Women's bloody hearts affecting society. This topic is a bit different though. The topic is that my women friends keep hearing "out of the blue" that they will never be loved. I'll define love as the passionate, mad romance from a man.

One of my favorite things to do in my spare time is to people watch with one other person and practice what I call profiling. Linky to example. I do this any time I get a minute and I'm around people. I learn a lot just from this.

I just had a thought that has been building over the past week or two. Do women feel vulnerable if they feel that they are attractive? I was watching two of my morning regulars in their workout today. They are both pretty thick. I would guess that they are about 40ish pounds overweight (even from being a little on the high side). They are just now getting back to where their weight is not unhealthy. Both of them have been working out here for a couple of years with a trainer buddy of mine. And BOTH of them are divorced. It would seem to me that there is a connection. I'm kinda stupid, so I'm going to say that there is. That is funny to me, but it would make sense. When d-bag David screwed my mom over, she felt completely annihilated. How did she deal with it? She ate food. She needed some form of feeling good. She needed to be loved. Results? She gained a solid amount of weight, most of it was fat.

To look at the converse, if a woman is taken care of, she will want to give whatever her guy wants/needs. As a guy looking at this, I'm only more inspired to accept and encourage the women in my life. If I could give advice based on this new (to me) idea, it would be to accept and enjoy their presence. If you have a significant other, just gush on them. Think about them a lot. Don't live your life with them at the center, but make sure that they are right next to you when you are in the middle of the adventure. If they are taken care of, they will WANT to give you everything that you desire. To relate back a bit, they will WANT to be your trophy wife. They will WANT to look great for you. It certainly won't be for society. #$%^ society! So, take good care of her and she will do the same for you.

hiding?

Where are all of the real women and why are they hiding?

I was observing an older lady the other day. She's pretty heavy. When she comes into the gym, she always stops at the top of the stairs to catch her breath from the stairs. Then something occurred to me. She is hiding. She is hiding under all of the layers of fat. She is using her weight as a protective wall. I had a conversation with her quite a while ago and she seemed nice. Why would she do that? How many women today hide behind weight?

Women are crazy

I have to laugh every time someone tells me this. The truth is, well, they ARE. ALL of them are crazy on some level. Yes, ALL of them.

I find that the more I deal with them, the more that I realize that even they don't understand themselves. This is at least up to age 22. They can be irrational, emotionally ADD, and downright hard to deal with at times.

One of the things that I hear from any given female is "I'm just crazay!" Well, yeah, but that's who they are. They are goofy, dorky, funny people. And they have a ball doing it. I think this is what makes them beautiful. And I could be wrong, but I think most guys would agree. Girls love to laugh. They will laugh at the slightest notion of silliness. This what I like to call, plain and simply, "dorkiness." And they will be dorks themselves if someone else isn't doing it for them. I can't remember a girlfriend that I didn't call a dork at some point or another and this is why.

When a girl is unsure of someone, she won't be as apt to be a dork around that person. She won't let her "true colors" shine. She is afraid of being made fun of for her dorkiness. This is only one reason that I try to make everyone comfortable around me. If I'm experiencing people, I want the real deal (guys and girls). Life just seems better.

I think I'll stick to it this time...

I've sworn off women again. I'd like to tell you why though. It seems that all women are crazy (see my other post), but they are all seemingly wanting to ruin my day. So I'm done with it. If some girl thinks I am a "challenge," well, she's in for a big surprise. I think that I'll crawl into an academic hole until next summer. Maybe I'll raise my standards too. Or maybe I should define them a little more in my own mind.

Women attacked

The world has made women the target of attack. It seems that the world sees women as the "weaker" of the genders. Take a look at the stories that we all know. The villan always goes after the hero's lady. ALWAYS. She is thrown away into the highest tower in the scariest castle/dungeon. Women are the attacked.

Women aren't meant to be the strength. Women are the givers of life. If a kid skins his knee, does he run to his dad? No, he goes and cries to mommy. why? bc he knows that she will nurture him back to health. Age does not matter. Women are made to love. They are made to be soft and gentle. The crown of creation is/are women.

I am grieved that men have fallen so short in that they have not defended women to the point where women feel the need to defend themselves. They, again, are not meant to be worriors. If their men would be their advocate, their worrior, they wouldn't need to waste so much energy "keeping it all together" or keeping up their appearance to the world's expectations. They wouldn't need to worry about that. They could focus on being themselves. They would know that they are not standing alone and they wouldn't be abondoned. Their man is and will always be there.