turmoil

4-8-08
It seems to me like there is a lot of tough times going on around me. Friends with relationship problems are struggling. Fears over brothers going into the military are heavy. Of course finances are part of the heartache as well. I feel a lot of attacks happening to those around me and to myself as well.
I went bouldering last night. I know I know, call Guinness right? It was hard, but it was also a bit relieving. All I had to do to complete a task was to figure it out. Each problem was easy to see. Even if I didn't take the time to fully understand everything, things were straight-forward. I'm tired today. I'm tired from staying up to listen to a friend rant for an hour over a brew. I find it a bit sad when you can find solace only in a bar when people you know are there. He could not find peace in his own place. I love people and I really enjoy beer, but that is not my only shelter.
One of my good friends just lost what would have been his first grandson. That was yesterday. Now he CAN find shelter in his house, but the attacks don't seem to be stopping. I wonder why.

I've learned a lot in the past couple of months. I feel like God is making me more of a man through this. Not only am I struggling, but my friends are being destroyed as well. Two people know of the attack on me. It will remain two for a while. I don't know why, but I feel that I have more character if I don't share it. I know there is a balance to be struck. I can't live life doing everything on my own. No one can.