Tuesday, December 30, 2008

I am blessed

I have been having a rough 4 days. REALLY rough. Something just happened to set things back.

A man walked into my office a few minutes ago. (crazy I know that a man would walk into an office) He looked a little rough. He introduced himself and asked if I had any work for him. I told him that the office was a bit slow at the moment, being the holidays, but that I would try to find an application for him to take with him. He stopped me and told me that would not be an option as he has no cell nor home. He is living at the mission in town.

Even as tough a time as I have been having, I feel better about this past year and how much I have grown. I have a "real" job now. I have a nice place to live. I have food when I need it. My life is good. It's tough, but good. I'm at a better place. I'm ready to have a woman for a girlfriend instead of a girl. I'd say that I need a woman instead of a girl. I'm standing up. I usually buy dinner when I go out (unless it's my birthday; thank you Jackson and Heather). I have friends. I have a good life.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


"Its the holidays, I have a lot to think about and life is wonderful. I have very little to complain about. I am the luckiest woman I have ever met and I just keep getting luckier."
--a friend of mine

Merry Christmas/Hannucka/Quanza/whatever you celebrate/and all that

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Passive aggressive

I'm going to figure out how to kill it. It seems to piss some of my friends off, so this is now one of my goals. I think this was part of the tough night I had last night before the movie. Hmmm. I think I'm gonna do some reading on this.

So, last night I went to see the new James Bond film. I believe that Daniel Craig is an excellent actor, but I was disappointed with the movie. The story had some really good potential and the director tried to bring that out.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Words of wisdom

I understand that I do not understand.

Everyone is a work in progress.

In other news, I cannot wait for two things. 1. To see the look on Heather's face when she sees her birthday/Christmas present. 2. To get my new rock shoes and get climbing!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Only children and having mentors around

Another post I wrote...
"A thought on only children. You mentioned a special challenge in keeping them from feeling lonely. I have a younger brother and I still felt VERY lonely when my parents were going through a divorce (I was 15 when I realized it was going to happen and it happened at 17). And I felt like I lost my brother somewhere in there. Then I ended up moving in with my mom after finishing HS. There was a comm college near where she and my brother lived, so it was the obvy choice. I got past this by finding and burying myself in given hobbies (computers, climbing). Then later as I was becoming an adult, I got my brother back. One of the things that helped was the random stanger that befriended me. I think that something that might help an only child would be to keep a good company of adult mentors that can help. It's not that they would spend regular time with the kid, but whenever they started building friendships you know.

I think that this is something of my calling. I'm not sure, but it feels like it. Just being a mentor to the kids of the people who are really important to me. I feel like that is why I'm here (in the child free part of life).

I guess I work a lot

This is a post that I put up on Christian Forums regarding my social life.
"hmmm.. Well, I'm not married yet. So, IDK what that will be like. But I'm not really crazy with booze or debauchery. I'm currently working through hard on Guitar Hero 3(?) with a friend. He and I have been through some times for sure. Our beliefs are VERY different, but I try to hang with him at least once a week.
I have a group of friends who play poker. There are about 5 or 6 of us who are pro or semi-pro. I try to meet with some of them at least once a week to keep my game sharp and continually growing.
My rock climbing job takes a night each week too! I love teaching! I was asked if I was a middle-school teacher a couple of weeks ago; this lead me into the bigger Q of not wanting kids, but that's another thread.
Then I work on other projects: a website for a law firm, analysis of a poker database/poker website management, my own blog of course, and once in a while I will have a lighting tech rehearsal for my church.
On the weekends, I work a shift at the desk for my climbing gym and run lights every other other Sunday. I try to go have a drink with my best friend Heather at least once a week too. Usually it's chai, but sometimes its a good scotch or cognac.
Man, I didn't realize that I work so much."

Friday, November 28, 2008

what I am thankful for

The first "Thanksgiving" was from the settlers who invented dirt here in North America for a good harvest. God had provided, as He always does.
I'm thankful for a lot this year. I think of all of the things on the list, I'm most thankful for the growth in my life. I feel like my eyes have been opened a bit further in how much I have at my fingertips. That in and of itself seems huge. Over the past couple of years, I've been through a couple of tough things. I feel like I can see attacks and support now. I'm in an office where I can CONTINUE to grow too! In my previous employment, that wasn't really an option. I feel very lucky that I was thrown into the office that I'm in. The staff is awesome and I already feel at home here. I'm even getting hell from my counterpart in the IT dept in G-town! Yes, I'm even thankful for YOU!!! (even if you don't like eggnog) We've had a social where I met the important people to my job. I'm supposed to have lunch with another big dog in a week or two. The agents, the staff, and the management seem to like me (by giving me crap about this or that or the back desktop!). I feel accepted and more importantly respected. It seems a very dynamic office that I'm currently working in. There are a lot of major changes happening. And guess who is supposed to help things move along smoothly? Hah! If the ladies in my office are not old enough to be my mom, they're old enough to be my grandma! I think this has helped me so much. They seem to treat me like someone who is a bit like an adopted adult son. That is another thing I'm thankful for. I can make lots of mistakes and they will show me how to do things with patience. I'm not slow, but I'm not brilliant all of the time either. Every few days I ride the short bus to work and they keep me laughing while helping me keep the office going.
I'm also very thankful for a particular young lady that came into my life almost a year ago. I know that we will never be together for a couple of reasons, but you have helped me grow in more ways than you know. You hold so much of my respect. And I'll be keeping my eye out for a good man for you.
The last thing I'd like to mention is all of the encouragement that people, some more than others, have given me over this past year. It's kept me sane and able.
That is what I'm thankful for.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

oh yeah

And happy dead bird day

More thought provokers on the economy

I've been poking around in the news a little more of late and I've found a couple more good articles.


When the big dogs from the Detroit auto makers showed up to Congress in their private jet, Congress asked if they would take a pay cut. LOL So Congress sent them back to their factories. Just a thought here:

Monday, November 24, 2008

biggest encouragement I've had in a while

"it doesn't matter how many women want to have children - you only need ONE that doesn't"

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Am I crazy?

So, I had a drink with a good friend of mine this evening. He helped me get a job and so I promised a drink. Along the course of the conversation, we encountered a couple of people. The topic came up about dating and how hard it was so I went into my rant/whine. I don't want kids. I just don't. I love kids. They are awesome. They have such a positive attitude about everything. I just don't see myself changing my mind any time soon. So, I'm having trouble finding a date. Of the 132, as of tonight, women that I have asked, all but three want kids. One of them is a young adult in college. One is happily married. The third is married to her job. 1/132 is roughly 0.75%. That is less than 1%.
Am I crazy for not wanting kids? I've been struggling with the thought that I might never find a good girl that I can fall into. I'm not real sure where I should be going.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

What does it take to be a king?

Kings come in many forms - managers, fathers, coaches, presidents, directors, judges, elected officials. What makes you ready for the position of king?
I don't know a man, nor have I ever heard of one, who was not completely blown away when he became a father. What would make you ready?
To me, it seems that all the kings of this world are supposed to do is give. They give their time on our behalf to take care of the formalities of having a society. They make us dinner when we are having a tough week. They negotiate on our behalf when we buy our first car. They help us work through things when they are not the easier day-to-day stuff. They organize events and oversee them for us. They show us how to do things and how to grow in it all.
In today's world, they are not always the people that they should be. They take millions and beg for billions. They hop around our planet in Lears and give presentations on how we can and should save the planet.
What would prepare a man to live a life of giving?

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

"What matters is what you do with what you have"

I just glanced at this quote the other day when I tore it out of my quote-a-day calendar on my desk and I wish I could find it now.
I remember a couple many years ago. They drove a suburban and a civic. The licenses were CMMM on the suburban and CJSMM on the civic. They stood for see Mike make money and see Jane spend Mike's money. I remember that they had to be pointed out to me by our "new girl" Laurie in the office where I worked on computers. She said that they were millionaires with investments worldwide. I would have been about 18. That seems so long ago.
The time that I observed them was right after Laurie mentioned it to me. The gal got out of her car right across the street to walk a brown paper bag and a 7up to the driver's side of a rusty old blue suburban.
It seems that the really wealthy just don't live crazy or lavish lives. They don't "live it up." They are sensible and caring. They get things that last; good investments. I remember hearing (I don't know if this is true) that Warren Buffett owned a simple Honda Civic until just a few years ago when he "splurged" on a Buick or Caddy. How many old caddies do you see still running around?
I have a friend that spends so much time thinking about how she can save more and more of her pathetic paychecks. She has investments, savings, NO debt and probably spends something like 8k/year. Most of her spending goes to living expenses and trips to see her friends and family.
At the bottom end of the spectrum, I know people who live on the interest rates. By that I mean that if the market takes a tumble, their home is repossessed. They live off of credit. They live larger than life, literally. They spend so much of their credit that to make bigger than the min would cause them to miss a payment on something else. Going on a vacation means that they get a new credit card to finance it. They don't know what it is like to KEEP money in a savings, because they have never had one.
Which end of the spectrum are you at? (This Q is just for you, not me.)

Monday, November 17, 2008

warms my heart

A new york steak
a good brew in front of a fire
the smell of the pinetrees in Vedawuoo
quad threes when everything gets there and a check/minraise FTW!!!
more than 3 people AIPF
the taste of chalk
being so pumped that I can't untie my knot
the final "Click!" of the anchors
ruined fingertips (which mine are right now)
a great cognac/scotch with company that appreciates it
the breeze on my cheek on any summit
the burn in my thighs at the bottom of a mogul run
good people
shared wisdom
respect among opposite ideas
respect for differing approaches
miles before me and behind me with only what I can carry on my back

hmmmm part 3

So, update on the little battle. *sigh* This is so huge. I know I don't have to take it on, but I have this curse called a heart. Right after a short convo about how we don't believe that anyone should throw free will to the wayside, Jon does exactly that. I'm not usually about talking about politics or religion, etc. But it seems to keep coming up in my conversations more and more.
When God created us, he instituted this awesome little thing called "free will" and I believe in keeping that idea. I don't think any philosophy or idea should be forced on anyone.
Then he proceeded to tell me more about how polygamy is such a great thing and how today's society just isn't built for marriage anymore. Marriage was a "religion" thing that Mormons started to keep their religion alive because of something that was wiping out their people. blah blah blah. He continued shoving it down my throat and telling me that "religion" has lied to me and that marriage will only keep a woman's heart until she can take you for everything you are worth.
That is Jon's religion/social philosophy. I don't care if he doesn't serve a god of some sort. I'm not looking forward to the next conversation where I tell him that we cannot talk about his religion any more. I hope that I can say it in a way that doesn't offend him.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

a few thoughts on the economy

Once in a while, I run across some interesting, and what I consider good, articles that talk about the economy. Here are some scraps for you all.
While I agree that Alan Greenspan helped the growth of the internet, he certainly did not destroy the economy. The topic is discussed here.
I think that checks and balances are generally good. With the introduction of a balance called Fannie Mae, the economy was held from the extreme variance of a purely open free-enterprise form of business. The downside is that the economy has paid for that security. Again, things must be balanced. If people are allowed to trade freely with no checks, everyone must pay attention to what is happening. A mistake here would collapse the whole market. The billion dollar question is how much should the markets pay for that luxury?
Things will be tough to sort out for our world leaders. But there is hope for sure!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

rule of 20 and how to keep a woman

I'm finding myself more and more defining my thoughts on how to love a woman. The past few months have been... an experience. I'm learning so much. Anyway, on topic! I have re-read the post on the rule of 20 and I'd like to add a few thoughts...

In the new version of the story, the wife was awesome and handed her guy a drink and went back to continue prepping a meal for him. She did this because she cared about him and wanted to do something special for him. It was not required of her. It was not her job. She did it because she wanted to. Whenever a lady does this for you, show some appreciation. Things like a word of praise over her efforts or a hug and a thank you/I love you, etc. She will react so well to it. Most men probably have no idea how many miles they would cover doing this.
Now, this isn't to say that you should just pander all of your attention on her from the moment you get home. This is about helping people get along and maybe even love each other. Take your 20 minutes. Let your mind relax and break for a few. That's more than okay, it is appropriate. When you "wake," wander in and offer to help. I find a great reaction in this even if there is jack to do because she is basically finished. That part is irrelevant. The point that is relevant is to offer some help and possibly take care of a simple task. She is more than likely to take into account that we are tired and our lack (I can't cook to save my life) of cooking ability. She'll probably give you something you can do that requires little to no cognitive ability. So you don't have to worry about mixing things or measuring things or ANYTHING that requires thought.

You should never be afraid to care. EVER. If you keep yourself from caring or trying, you will be doomed to singledom. You know what the worst part is? A woman will ALSO be doomed to that same curse. Once you've offered to buy that pretty girl a drink; once you've asked her out; once you've met her parents, make her day. And don't do it once or twice every month. Do it every other day or a couple of times each week. If her heart is fed, everyone will eat well.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

hmmmm part 2

"True politeness consists in making everyone as easy and comfortable as one can."

So, I had a short talk with Jon last night. I prayed a lot before, during, and afterward. I asked for wisdom several times. As we got into our talk, I realized I needed a lot more than just wisdom. I needed patience and courage too. You see, Jon has seen some tough times. I would guess that he's seen a lot more than most. I fought hard to keep myself from thinking that my ideas were better than his. It wasn't about what was better; it was about what was right.
Jon has a tough time hanging back and just listening to anything. If he feels attacked, he will launch an assault. I felt I was on a pretty fine line as I spoke. I wanted to focus on the problem. He had hurt me with a couple of things he said and then he proceeded to insult me and other people as well. I needed to bring this up to him in a way that he wouldn't feel as an attack.
I feel like I brought up to him the part where I was hurt in his calling me a chauvinist. I don't know how well I did with the other part. Maybe it will just take time. I feel like I got my first point across. I have worked very hard to understand people, specifically women, but men too. And when he called me that, it was basically telling me that I had gone in the opposite direction.
I feel better about it, but I feel like I've got a long way to go. until later...

Monday, November 10, 2008


I'm looking at a quote that I'm going to change a bit.
"A boy at home is safe, but that is not what boys are built for." Original credit to John Shedd.
I feel like I'm learning to become a warrior. My current battle exists in a relationship with a friend of mine that I've known for a couple of years now. In the past few weeks, he has started to express his thoughts on relationships, love, and women. He has spoken of "their place" in society. I feel like I'm being tossed a small challenge. I didn't realize it until last night though. I think that it wasn't a challenge until it hit me closer to home.
To be frank, I find myself in the company of degerates and low-lifes on what I feel is an all too regular basis. Anyway, this friend of mine, I'll call him Jon, has taken an interest in moving on from his relationship. I think his ex is not completely unjustified, but she broke his heart. That's not an easy thing. Well, Jon was feeling a little bit better about himself and found a girl to talk to the other night. He was all sorts of excited to tell me about it. And I was happy for him. Then he started asking what I knew about this particular girl. I've known her for a few years (4 I think) and have a decent idea of what she's about. I feel like she's a good girl who is a bit misguided. Anyway, she's seeing another guy I know a bit less. He has expressed to me that women "are things. The drink in my hand: a thing. The keys in my pocket: a thing. The couch and pillows on it: things. That girl: a thing." He told me this right after my crush at the time kind of dropped me and I was a bit down for it. So, he's seeing 4ish different girls right now.
When I told Jon about this, I mentioned that the guy was kind of a chauvinist. Now, I wasn't sure at the time, but this is a direct definition of the word male chauvinist: "noun. activity indicative of belief in the superiority of men over women."
He immediately shot back, "Oh you're a chauvinitst too! We wrote a paper about how women should just stay in the kitchen and leave you alone when you get home from work!" The "paper" he talked about was here. That was explained to me by a woman who's wisdom I will never begin to comprehend. I wrote the "paper" to help guys and girls get along better. I also wrote it with the idea of showing guys that once you take your time, you need to go after your girl and pursue her. Decompress, SURE! But once you are "normal" again, appreciate her for taking care of you; reciprocate things to her. That is not chauvinistic. It is merely asking for a little space. Then it is taking care of the girl.
My battle is to encourage him in his quest for a girlfriend and show him a little bit about being a leader (you have to be a servant!). And I don't know how to approach it yet. So, if you have any words of wisdom....

Friday, November 7, 2008

for the best education

"The best classroom is at the feet of an old person."

Privatization of government

I have a question: How many departments in our government would function more efficiently if they were handed over to a private firm? What if the issue of simple border patrol was handed over to a company? What if they were given half of our current budget to take care of illegal boats, airplanes, even customs? How efficient would that be? Well, if I were them, I would want to make the most money! That is what a company does! So, I'm going to get the job done while spending the least amount of money, so I can keep the rest and throw a nice Christmas party! What if the government gave them an extra 5% if they did a better job than last year? This would be something akin to a bonus! There could be several companies going after a given section of our border! Competition! Better companies might even offer a lower price to do the job! And for what? 50-55% of the current budget? I think I could be a Presidential Budget Adviser! I just saved 45%! This money could go to the national debt! WOOHOO!

The best thing we can do as a country (a bit long)

The United States loves to help other countries. We've spewed billions into foreign aid to countries that are stupid poor. Columbia, Tanzania, South Africa, etc. We have drained our economy so much with the war in Iraq, supporting illegal immigrants' kids for life, and waste still more by funneling into the black hole some people call the "Federal Government."
I'd like to share my thoughts.
As a libertarian, my philosophy is often skipped over for the more popular "right or left" syndrome. The truth of the matter is, everyone has parts of both left and right in their thoughts. So, on to point!
Foreign policy! There is a big world out there! Lots of people are working and building and living in very beautiful places. Some people live in huts, some in bars, still more live in poverty. The poverty line in the United States is pretty high compared to other countries. Last time I checked, it was somewhere around $12,000 a year as income. $12k won't go very far here. That's $1,000 per month! However, $12k will go miles in places like China, Argentina, and any third-world country. What you give up for that will be more costly than you might imagine though. To give you an example, $12k in China would be something like $150,000 here. That's a good income. So, we have things VERY well off here.
We keep on giving money to these countries... as a federal government! I have a question to any Chinese citizen: What have western companies done for your town? The answer might surprise you. They bring jobs. They bring incomes. They bring advancements to society. "Isn't that the government's job?" I hear that all too often. The answer? NO! It is not the government's job to give you everything you want. The government is to encourage economic growth, not give you a job. Companies can give you a job. That is their job - to make money. The government is to make that easier to do. I'm not sure how else I can say it.
So, leave the companies to give jobs. What SHOULD the government do? The government SHOULD be a good steward and stop wasting it's resources. It SHOULD spend money on things like debt. I can personally vouch that having debt is not a good thing. Debt is like disease. Many people CAN get rid of it, but it is very difficult. Some people never recover, because they don't try. It takes counsel (maybe from a doctor/financial adviser), elbow grease to figure things out, and plain old hard work to get things done.
The government SHOULD focus on providing the BEST education to our citizens. I'm not a fan of the Dept of Education. If teachers want a union, they will organize one. For now, re-write the purpose of the DOE to evaluate where EVERY school in north America and the world is making progress. Not just teaching the same stuff the same way it has for 20 years. Where are teachers finding newer and more effective ways of teaching? What works? What doesn't? Do private schools educate people better than public? If so, why not give everyone the voucher? Encourage competition among teachers! Encourage schools to go after the best teachers and to pay them well! I would bet that most teachers would love a new job offer out of the blue just because they did a good job the year before. If public schools are better, find the leaks! Where are they spewing money? Plug those leaks! Reward progress! Reward consistent efficiency!
I'm a big fan of working on our economy and I believe that education comes first in this endeavor. I believe that education has some of the bigger leaks in our society too, but I may save that for another blog.
What about the little guys? What about local businesses? Let's take them and encourage them to focus on hiring people who are not educated! People who have a high school diploma or less can work simple jobs! They can make those jobs better. Let's encourage small business owners to be teachers and mentors. Maybe even expand their business overseas to "help" foreigners. That can be our version of foreign aid. They can grow to be bigger companies. (I'm sure the owner will love the word "bigger!") This isn't taking jobs and income from our country. This is encouraging so much growth that the companies see foreign markets as investment opportunities. They WANT other countries to grow too! Just imagine what the communist Chinese government would say if a company told them that their GDP was about to balloon by $300 billion! China would fling it's doors open to western society so fast that we wouldn't be able to expand fast enough! What about Africa? There are thousands, maybe millions that just want a home again. They will work at Lowe's and Wal-Mart and appreciate the opportunity. Companies will jump at the chance.
Alright, so long rant! To knock it down, I believe that if we focus on education in schools and businesses, the economy shall grow. Then a strong economy will expand through borders into countries where marginal growth can begin.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

uhm, no?

So I read today that Colorado State University's President Larry Penley is resigning. There are lots of yadda yaddas and blah blahs, but one of the points really gets to me. As part of his "severance" or whatever, he is going to continue receiving his salary for an ENTIRE year! His salary is $389,000! As an alumni, this makes me rather livid. I've seen some of the current college students and nobody needs to be making that for a year after they leave a post.
'Most' people try to build up something of a savings that we call an "emergency fund." This fund is for when we lose our job and need to pay bills. This is not right at all. This should be 3 months just like the rest of us.

Monday, November 3, 2008

"Life is the Point"

I've been reading through The Way of the Wild Heart. I feel so much better as I'm reading about what boyhood was is I imagined it. I really enjoyed building forts and playing essentially cowboys and Indians. I too received the wound that most men receive. "You're on your own." My dad tried, but he didn't know what it was about. I have a couple of fond memories I'd like to share.
I must have been about 5 or 6. Dad and I jumped into his blue truck and drove. After passing my grandfather's ranch over an hour away, we continued into the mountains. The road got worse and worse until we were on something of an old road resembling a miner or scout's road. When we descended to the bottom of the canyon, he shut the truck off. There was a cabin there that he was checking on or something to that effect. We walked down to the creek and he fixed a rod for me to fish with. I loved it.
After a little while, he came back from the cabin and we hiked up the canyon. This canyon is mostly flat on the bottom, but with jagged boulders that have fallen from the narrow walls climbing to the sky. It was so cool! I got to climb over rocks! And Dad was taking me up this huge canyon! And I was probably going to do more fishing! And I DID! Nobody was telling me to get down and that I was going to hurt myself. I was free to be a kid!
Some years later, I had graduated from high school and taken up climbing. I was about 20. I had been going to bouldering competitions. Bouldering is where you climb up a little way (usually 15-20 feet) and then jump down or climb down. There are no ropes or harnesses. It's easier to put a comp together like this. Then your top 5 most difficult problems (particular route up the wall) are counted to your score.
Well, there was a series of these comps over the winter. I tried to go to all 6. I kept track of the standings on my own computer. I climbed hard. I wanted to be called a champion. I had a training schedule. I had a friend I called a coach who made me climb harder. I just wanted to win my measly category. I have what is called a "non-essential tremor" so I shake all of the time. If a muscle in my body is tensed, it is shaking. Makes it a little tougher to climb!
Anyway, I won a couple of comps in my division and it was looking good going into the last comp. I was pretty sure that the one climber would not overtake me, but I wanted to turn in a good score to seal the deal. Of the series, they took your best three comp scores and that made up your series score. I wasn't sure who the guy was, but he was within a few thousand points.
Out of the blue, Dad called me and told me he had decided to drive me down and take me! It was so cool to have him there watching me! I pulled so hard too! I believe I upped my score enough to make the difference between the #2 guy and I more than 10,000. That is more than any climber in my division could overtake in one night. The after party/awards ceremony was held at a local pub. He was there to see me receive my clear-glass trophy. I still have a picture of me that he took in his car after wards. I had a special place in his heart.
These stories touch my soul. They help remind me that there was a man who tried to raise me in manhood. My dad took pride in me.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

New Job et al

So I started my new job with Keller Williams this week. I wasn't really looking forward to having that regular work or whatever again, but I need it. Poker is grand, but I'm not playing the stakes I need to be making a good living... yet. But either way, I have a job. I work for a real estate firm. They are very focused on their employees. Their bottom wrung employees are the customers. The customers are all but irrelevant to the company. They belong to their specific agent and they are called leads. I've been blasting my old company so hard about their management policies. They believe that the main focus should be on sales. They don't care about the "peons" at all. At KW, the peons are agents. KW's main focus is on supporting the agents so that they can focus on taking care of THEIR customers! What a concept!

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I am an open book sometimes

Solvo informatio!

Monday, October 27, 2008


I find that the romance in my life is frustrating in recent months. The funny thing is that I don't want kids. Now, I love kids! They are a blast! But I don't have the desire for having my own. This, translated, means that my options for dating are cut down to almost null. My ex and I broke up for several reasons and among them was a difference of opinion here. She wants kids.
I find that most women want kids. They may not all want them right now, but definitely in the future. At first, I thought this was frustrating. Now, I think it's funny. I started basically a survey to find out roughly the ratio of women who want kids to those who do not. I'd guess that I've asked a little over 100 in the past month or so. All but 3 want kids. Two of them are married; one to a man and the other to her job. I hear that the third is currently in a relationship. There is a qualifier to be considered as I see many more women than 100 in a month: they must be within my dating age range (22-31) and not obviously married. I just keep on laughing!

Anyway, enlightenment! I was reading a pretty good book the other day and read:
"You see, what we have now is a world of uninitiated men. Partial Men. ... The passing on of masculinity was never completed, if it was begun at all. ... That's why most of us are Unfinished men. And therefore unable to truly live as men in whatever life throws at us. And unable to pass on to our sons and daughters what they need to become whole and holy men and women themselves."
Then things started to make sense a little bit. You see, I've always enjoyed being a teacher and/or adviser. Now, I'm not real sure what that entails, but this is what my gut is telling me. I wonder where it will take me.

Saturday, September 20, 2008


I have a new motto!
Warning! Consumption of the Chad may cause you to get religion, get naked, get raised, or get arrested!

Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Rule of 20

I heard a story a few years back about a newly married couple that was having a "time." The husband had just been given a pretty big promotion. So, the lady went out and bought a bunch of food and prepped a very nice dinner for her guy. She had everything ready when he got home. She was "dressed up" for him too. After walking in the door, he was greeted with a big kiss and was immediately lead to the table. He stopped before sitting down after putting 2 and 2 together (that this whole ordeal was to congratulate him on his new job). He said, "The pleasure is in the work." This flattened the lady and the night was uneventful.

Let's take a quick look at what happened.
Lady: I know my guy works so hard to provide. He's been so stressed and I know how to work out stress! Hmmmm. I bet he'd love a nice home-cooked meal too! Oh man! I have to go get some meat! And we are out of his favorite drink too!

*insert spending 6 hours of errands, cooking, prepping (more than just the food), cleaning, oh! and chocolate! I love CHOCOLATE! here*

Oh WOW! He's in the driveway! I can't wait to see his face! "The pleasure is in the work" Ouch, I spent all of that time.... ouch.

Guy: #$%#$ I hate my co-workers. I just know this new team is going to dump all of the crap on me. I'm good at it but man. I can't do another 70 hour week. I need a good drink and a couch. Maybe I'll get some tonight. I don't want to be social. I don't want to speak. effing retards. I can't believe that guy didn't get fired.... and then was reassigned to my team. The boss is going to love what I have for him tomorrow. My resignation. I'll have to find another job fast. I've got to keep up with those damn payments. That ring was such a drain. Wait, IS such a drain. She loves it though. Man. I need to find a way to buy a new house. We need out of this dump. I know it's "nice." ... This isn't nice. This is NICER than my grandfather's house, but he had to build it by hand in like 1894. *sigh* I can't do this any more.

I just need to sit down and do a whole lot of nothing..... *walks in his house* *hupmth* *wife drills me and jumps on me* Man my head hurts. I wonder if I can make conversation enough to make her smile. I need to sit down, or maybe lay down. Yeah, that sounds good. A NAP! Oh, she's dragging me some.... oh. She's made dinner. @#$#@$ I can't make conversation. I need to be alone. Even five minutes would be nice. She's going to want to know how I "feel" about the day and the food and her panties and blah blah blah.
"The pleasure is in the work"

Now! Nice story huh! The lady was all about doing something nice for her guy and didn't quite get the reaction she was looking for. Now, she'll need to talk even more about her feelings when her guy does not have the energy or desire. She has driven him away. On that same token, the guy didn't realize what was happening. He didn't see that she had made a VERY time-consuming meal, nor did he notice that she was dressed up. He disregarded her feelings in the process. He was so wrapped up in his exhaustion and getting rest that he tossed his wife by the wayside.

I have now heard of a solution!

The RULE of 20!!!! I know this is just one more thing to ask of a woman, but I heard it from a woman. So, hear me out.

20 minutes after your guy wakes up and gets home from work, give that to him.

NEW STORY!!!! Guy gets off of work, rolls in the door and is greeted by his wife. She says one thing and doesn't take long. "Dinner will be ready shortly." She does so while handing him his favorite drink. Then she immediately goes back to prepping. He stumbles into the living room and collapses into a comfy chair.......
20 minutes later, he wakes up and realizes that he's been watching TV. Hmmm. Something smells good. Wow! She's easy on my eyes! Damn, I'm almost out of my drink. Hmmmm.... yeah, I'm gonna just push her upper back down and bend her over that counter.... yeah.

Some guys, it's more like 5 minutes. Personally, I think I'm closer to 30-35 minutes, but man am I excited after decompressing!

Oh, and just to clarify. The couple in the first story were my parents.... who are now divorced now. My dad never got it.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Chasm TR

My wussie, erm buddy, Ken is getting ready to do some hiking in Japan in a couple of weeks. So, we decided (not real sure where or how) to do some warm-up hikes. This past Sunday we ran up to Chasm Lake. It's really pretty looking up at the cirque that surrounds it. 2:00 up and 1:15 back.
We didn't run into anything crazy. There were a lot of kids (like 200 kids younger than 15) in the first couple of miles. Then we ran into the occasional group of tech climbers. I had read that the summit was still technical due to the snow melting slower than usual. I'm optimistic that it will break in the next couple of weeks and we can make a summit bid. But we will see. We only had to cross a couple of snow patches and they were mild in difficulty. I'm sure that the trail will be dry come mid-August. I think that a summit bid will be safe at that point too.
Anyway, the trail was clear minus a little bit of snow as we crossed into the Chasm Meadow. It was a good day for sure.

Monday, July 21, 2008

mountain pics

I've had a few requests for some pictures of my hiking/climbing adventures recently. So, here you go!
This photo is of the hole in the rock at Chasm View, just below the cables route.

This is the sunrise that same morning from Chasm View. ~13,000ft
This photo was taken by my hiking partner at the time. It was just beginning to rain.
the first two pics here are pretty cool too.

Friday, June 27, 2008

funny old men, guns

I run a cafe of sorts in a health club for my "day job." In my days, I take a lot of abuse from the old men that come and "workout" and then sit and drink coffee for an hour. The conversations range from politics and sports to history and current events. One of them stood up this morning and said, "Well, I suppose I should actually work out this morning!" Steve, another regular, said, "What?!?! I've been workin' hard for a good ten-fifteen minutes!" The banter makes my mornings worthwhile working here.

I don't know if I've expressed my opinion for the news in this blog so I thought that DC vs Heller would be a good place to open. For those not in the know, the District of Columbia vs Heller is the court case that went to the Supreme Court over the right to have a gun in Washington DC. Now, there has been a ban on firearm possession there for some time.

Now, I read the news when I have time or just find a minute between hazings of the old men! I also try to keep up generally on how the stock market is doing and why. I also try to read several different "publications" as well. The reason I do this is because it is difficult to find any "news" source that isn't skewed and is completely objective. I have to kind of giggle at Fox News' "Fair and balanced" stories. Then I outwardly laugh at when a liberal tears at that same thing for the reason that they support the news from CNN or MSNBC. I'm rather blown away that so many people will only watch one of them. I'm not a whole lot better, but I try by reading the Economist, BBC, and once in a while the Guardian as well as the American news sources. I really have a solid disdain for the American news. I'm sure that there are a lot of good people working for these companies. But it's hard to believe everything they say and take it word for word. It's like bashing President Bush. I know a lot of people do it and that's fine. One thing I love about this country is that we have freedom of speech. We can rip on anyone for any reason. There are laws against libel, etc. However, if we disagree with someone, we are free to express that. SO! If you don't like Bush, cool! But WHY do you not like Bush? Is it because he is trying to assist a country in turmoil? Is it because he has used the veto power only on a few rare times? Is it because of his economic policy? I have no problem if you don't like him. Personally, I think there are better leaders. But I have reasons for not liking him. SPECIFIC reasons. I don't bash him because of his imperfect grammar/word usage.

Now that I've said that. DC vs Heller was a pretty controversial court case. It is yet another example of the fundamental idea of the right to own a specific type of weapon as a normal citizen (as opposed to a police officer or military). I think that this is an interesting debate and it really comes down to how comfortable you are personally with a gun.

I grew up in small-town, Wyoming. The state has battled with Alaska for last place on the population list for decades and is recently losing by a good margin as I understand it. It is a land of farmers and ranchers. There are plenty of cowboys around. As a result, livestock theft can be a problem at times. There are people who actually defend their cattle, etc with a shotgun! Even today, this really does happen. To most of the city-bound population, this seems crazy. Imagine making $200/cow each year. At a rate of50-200 cows a year, that isn't much when you have to support a family and farm equipment. Now, $200/cow is on the low side I believe and 100 cows is probably only a bit below the average. But trying to take care of two or three kids on $25k/year is anything but rare. Try stealing $1,000 from a man who works the ground and see what happens! If you avoid prison, you will be lucky.

Now, to flip into the city and ask the same question.... Give a man a responsibility and say nothing to him of leadership and you will have a child with power. This is where that phrase about power and corruption comes from. Give a child a country and you will get a ruthless dictator. Fill that country with children and you will have civil war. Try to take that country back and you are France! Back on point, I really believe that education is the answer.

I've shot guns, even as a kid. I'm certainly not afraid of them. I suspect many city goers are. The only time they see them are when they see law enforcement or someone who is in a gang or the mob. That's not very encouraging to me. I believe that given some good gun safety classes for the general public, things will not be so anti-gun/gun-control oriented in the future. We have the 2nd Amendment for a reason. I believe in that reason.

Thursday, May 8, 2008


FOSS is an awesome philosophy that I inherently disdain, but in this particular field, I'm down with it! Free Open-Source Software is three parts. Free is self defining and most people know what Software is too. Open-source is a little foreign to most though. Every program, every script, every operating system (including windows) has what is called in the developer world "source code." It is the basic code that the programmers write each day at their jobs as they work towards whatever it is they are developing for their company. Linux is based on this philosophy.

Now, I am a libertarian. I'm a big believer in as much limitation of government as possible, privitization of as much of society as possible, and as much individual rights and ownership as possible. This is something of an paradox for me. For the reason of furthering technology in society, I applaud and support the idea.

"But, but but..???" I hear that WAY too much. "You can't do Microsoft!" is one that I hear often as well. The truth is you can. I ask why you would want to and that seems to get people confused. At that point, I try to explain a little bit of this blog. I'm not sure why, but people are so hesitant to change that they want to blindly defend Windows. I don't mind too much if someone wants to run windows. I really don't! I went Microsoft free for a while with success. I now run one windows box simply because a couple pieces of software that I consider essential were written natively in the windows environment. The box is scaled WAY down to run a simple and secure workstation. I run about 4 programs, one of which does NOT run off of the Linux box. The network environment is mixed and runs perfectly fine. But I would encourage you to
try Ubuntu or Fedora at the very least for a month and see how you like it. It's different, yes. But there is a joke among Linux developers - "You're running into virus problems? What's a Virus?"

Here's the inspiration: http://conversasdobruno.blogs.sapo.pt/372067.html

Monday, April 28, 2008


I'm working on a simple and easy to understand financial post, but I've gotta get a graphic done before I post it. (It will make things a lot easier.)

Political Philosophy

I had a cool experience listening to a rant from a weird guy from Canadia the other day. It helped me define some of my own political views. It was funny listening to him talk, but at the same time it was refreshing to hear some rationale behind his, in some cases VERY, different views on how to deal with the system and fixing it.

It seems to me like there are a few fundamental things that each society needs from some form of government. It is in the way that you would approach those needs and build solutions and applications for your society that really define your political views.
From my view, the fundamentals are as follows...
Freedoms that are decided by the citizens as they believe that they deserve.
Some sort of protection from outside invaders, e.g. pirates, dictators, other countries that think they need to own your country (UK, France, China come to mind).
A currency that is common for the country as a whole and not 50 bazillion different currencies.
And last but not least is a way to support the economy and tax it within reason, e.g. health care, education, grants, etc.

The way that you look at implementing those things (and I probably missed something) into a culture are what make up political philosophies.


Once again, I've been given much. Two of the people I respect most in this town in his own regard have given me a huge compliment. It is really inspiring to me. My wonderful girlfriend just concurred with them.
The next couple of weeks to a month will be a lot of work for me. But I can do it. I'm planning a trip out in July. It's on like Donkey Kong!

Thursday, April 10, 2008


yesterday was a big day in several ways. I would say the highlight happened last night. My bro came climbing with my girlfriend. I had a private lesson to teach. It was an intro to lead climbing. So we went over clipping, rope management, blah blah blah. They were fine and knew most of it already. After I finished, Heather asked if I wanted to climb. I was still a bit sore from Tuesday bouldering, but I wanted to do something. I figured I'd take a lap out the roof and call it good. The lead ropes were all out and most of them in use. Grrr. Whatever, I'll make a lap on my project and call that good. Well, no more 1-fall. Orange project [x]. Needless to say, I went home and had some IPA. Tasted so good.

Tuesday, April 8, 2008


It seems to me like there is a lot of tough times going on around me. Friends with relationship problems are struggling. Fears over brothers going into the military are heavy. Of course finances are part of the heartache as well. I feel a lot of attacks happening to those around me and to myself as well.
I went bouldering last night. I know I know, call Guinness right? It was hard, but it was also a bit relieving. All I had to do to complete a task was to figure it out. Each problem was easy to see. Even if I didn't take the time to fully understand everything, things were straight-forward. I'm tired today. I'm tired from staying up to listen to a friend rant for an hour over a brew. I find it a bit sad when you can find solace only in a bar when people you know are there. He could not find peace in his own place. I love people and I really enjoy beer, but that is not my only shelter.
One of my good friends just lost what would have been his first grandson. That was yesterday. Now he CAN find shelter in his house, but the attacks don't seem to be stopping. I wonder why.

I've learned a lot in the past couple of months. I feel like God is making me more of a man through this. Not only am I struggling, but my friends are being destroyed as well. Two people know of the attack on me. It will remain two for a while. I don't know why, but I feel that I have more character if I don't share it. I know there is a balance to be struck. I can't live life doing everything on my own. No one can.

Friday, March 28, 2008

My week - productive

Monday was a big day for me. I got the file server online and one-sat my climbing project. The file server is for the law firm. I wanted to start working with Linux and the two solutions just fit together. Victory #1: learning how to configure Samba! It took me about 2 hours to learn about the details, but it works now. It authenticates and they can write/save things to a 300+GB networked hard drive. It didn't come back up the next morning, so I had to work with it a bit more. But I got the bugs out and it's operational as of Wednesday. Makes me happy. Now, I want to get it away from my work area. So, I'll grab a wireless card and move it into their main work area (or maybe their closet). I networked my USB external as a backup to the server for the time being. After I get that done, I'm gonna setup a workstation with Ubuntu on it for the paralegal to write briefs, do email, and the other easy stuff that she does so that she will start working with linux. I really want them to trend away from Microsoft. They have spent way too much money on software that they could have downloaded for free and had it work better than their methods now.

Then, I went climbing that night! Sean was not around so I just ran a few routes on top-rope. My current project is harder than most of my routes in the past. I've only climbed this hard a couple of times in my life and it's been at least 3 years. I want it. I've climbed one 5.12 in Denver. I worked one here in teh fort. And now, I have one that I can physically do. Last week, I worked it out and figured out most of the beta. I wanted the next goal - the "one-fall." It signifies that you are capable of cleaning the route, given that it is doable by a human. Victory #2: one fall on the orange 5.12. I'll throw this in too! Victory #3: leading the roof. I have a pretty big mental block about leading out the roof. It is very intimidating for me. That's why my hardest lead (5.11+ on the roof) was such a huge deal to me. I still remember hearing the final *snap* of the carabiner gate. What a relief! I collapsed off of the route with a loud shout. I had a beer that night!

I'm glad that Heather made me do it on Tuesday night. I felt good overall, but I needed some pushing into it. Sean was nice enough to belay me for it. I'm working with Heather on lead belaying so that I can get on the roof a lot more often. I want to climb Drop Zone this summer and I'll need some phenomenal footwork to do it.

Some links to encourage mom about the move to linux...
Grandma can use linux too!

Friday, March 21, 2008

my favorite place in teh forts

I def have spent some time around that fire. (Mulligan's)

I is.... WAS a pu**y

For the past couple of years, I've really just chilled in the climbing area. As a result, I've grown soft and weak. In the past couple of weeks, I've tried to get back into it. I'm working my back and core again! Yay! Maybe in a month or two I'll get a six-pack! Working on some disgusting route is so much fun. I'm just happy that I can finally sell my pussy for a few more years and return to being a badass (or the "worst ass" according to Terry!).
What's even cooler for me is that my girlfriend is flashing 5.9s!

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Going back home..... ish.

Over the weekend, my girlfriend and I went snowshoeing. It wasn't anything real crazy, but it was good to be out in nature. We bought a pass to RMNP a few weeks ago and decided that we needed to get up off of the plains of Colorado.
There is just something relieving for me to be out on the trail. That smell.... what a wonderful smell - the pines just below tree-line. I love that crisp, cool bite in the air as I break tree-line at dawn. My buddy Terry keeps after me, "So when are you going up Everest?" I always laugh, but he's inspiring me to check on vacations to Nepal and Tibet. Too bad this shit is going on.
Heather is also giving me some go with her stories from when she lived in China. Someday, I have to find a pub in southwestern China and get lit on bai-jo while losing my ass at backgammon! The thought of screaming over a board at a small asian (or european as this is not a new idea) who is screaming equally loud right back at me in Cantonese into the wee hours sounds like so much fun! Then again, I've topped out at 14k and change. Base camp at Everest is something like 20k and change. Meh, maybe I'll have to train for a couple of years. I really have no desire to climb it, but going to base camp would be cool. BC of Parbat and/or Lhotse would be equally if not even cooler! To sit below the last 8,000m peak and chill would be something tough to be topped! Something else that'd be cool - hangin out at the Rongbuk monastery with some of the monks! Wow, I should look into that in a couple of years.

Trivia for the day: What was the last 8,000 metre peak climbed? It was in 2001. Answer

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

haha, too funny

I was talking to a buddy's wife a couple weeks ago about my current affairs. She's a very established account auditor for a firm in Denver. I mentioned that I'm doing some work with a Linux server and she scowled. "Why would you do that? You don't have any way of doing [Microsoft] Word documents! You don't have compatibility with the internet!" I laughed and told her about Wine and Samba. I knew that Google was running on linux. However, I did NOT know that Yahoo! and Facebook ran on Linux servers!


thank you very much!

Monday, February 18, 2008

testing my patience

Over the past weekish, my patience has been tested. I like to think I'm a pretty patient guy, but I grow tired.

Problem: bought a new computer and have this habit of hating Microsoft. I'm installing Ubuntu on it, making it a server, then installing some sort of linux on my laptop (that I use everyday).

The CD-burner in my laptop is pretty old and decaying (2001) and the CD-ROM function in the new machine doesn't seem to want any part of it. Blah blah blah, to no avail. Several different brands of CD, several different versions, different types of installations, hell, my girlfriend even had her "Ubuntu guru" friend burn a CD from an ISO that she downloaded. No love for the Chad.

I have a 500gb external usb drive that I've just been reading about how to load from that, but I haven't figured out how to boot from it. But in the midst of that, I stumbled upon a windows/network/yaddahyaddah/ftp/intel/PXE install. That one finally worked. However, it was focused on an old version and as I was in the middle of an upgrade, something happened. It asked me to restart. It wasn't required, but it still asked me. Uhm, yeah.... WTF?!?!?!?!?! So, alright, I can do that. But I'm a bit surprised. Restart... and Ubuntu commits Harry Carry. hmmmmm.... right..... I do a hard reboot and the same thing happens.

I've always loved working on computers, but this is a bit frustrating. One thing that I've noticed, I'm not stressing nearly as much as when I was working on Windoze. I think I've also figured out why: sleep. When I used to do this kind of work, I would do it to all hours of the night/day/night. Yes, I once used a computer for something like 30 hours and change! Now, if I get tired or frustrated/pissed, I just say hey, it'll be there when I come back and I wander off to the couch for a nap. Being rested really seems to help my patience and resilience. It really seems to me that this world is so focused on killing that rest time that it's no wonder that we are all so stressed out, impatient, tired, cranky, inconsiderate, non-confident bags of worthlessness.

I was talking to one of my regulars a little while ago about Europe. She said that they are so proud of the fact that they have coffee for "you Americans." However, there are rarely ever 'to-go' cups. This requires a person to actually sit down and enjoy the cup of java for a little while. "Novel idea!" my regular said. I agree.

Oh, and if anyone can vouch for Ubuntu, Debian, or any other Linux distro, please toss me a line. Thanks! derchad@gmail.com

Friday, February 15, 2008


My girlfriend mentioned the other day that I'm a little late with my Lent deal. So, I've decided to hash one out before day's end. I'm down to Mondays, dark ale, and recreational boulder problems (climbing easy stuff). The last idea I knocked off was to be above 10,000 feet at least twice a week. Seemed a bit too chilly this time of year.

Thursday, February 7, 2008


I was dealing with a peer who does a lot of work with coffee a couple of weeks ago. My thoughts ran into more of a rant. So here you are!

Arrogance -noun The offensive display of superiority or self-importance; overbearing pride.

The girl I was thinking about was arrogant. More, she had arrogant negativity. It is frustrating just being around her, because she thinks that she is THE know-all end-all of coffee. She is really pretty new at her job (less than 6 months). She's the one who always has the answer and will grill you on it later. Everyone desires to stop her face with a couple of knuckles. Yeah, not fun.

The reason that those types of people are hard to handle is that they are not open to a method other than their own. They see one way and anything else is a gross error. To contrast with arrogant positivity, people are immediately repelled to the positive people around.

Arrogant people who are positive are a huge encouragement to many people. They are fun, up-beat, and generally happy people. I like being around them and I can deal with their arrogance, because they are just basically full of shit. The double knockout is when these people can be serious at the right times. I like to think of Matthew McConaughey. He's funny and something of a big-shot. However, nobody takes him too seriously. I think he's a decent actor, not terrible by any means. However, he's not going to land the $100 million I am Legend roles because of it. But he will make a great living at what he does.

As I look back at the definition, I think that it's cool as long as you take out being offensive and make it a big joke. As soon as you become offensive, you drive people away.

Friday, January 4, 2008


I've noticed a reoccurring theme that has been coming up again recently. Women's bloody hearts affecting society. This topic is a bit different though. The topic is that my women friends keep hearing "out of the blue" that they will never be loved. I'll define love as the passionate, mad romance from a man.

One of my favorite things to do in my spare time is to people watch with one other person and practice what I call profiling. Linky to example. I do this any time I get a minute and I'm around people. I learn a lot just from this.

I just had a thought that has been building over the past week or two. Do women feel vulnerable if they feel that they are attractive? I was watching two of my morning regulars in their workout today. They are both pretty thick. I would guess that they are about 40ish pounds overweight (even from being a little on the high side). They are just now getting back to where their weight is not unhealthy. Both of them have been working out here for a couple of years with a trainer buddy of mine. And BOTH of them are divorced. It would seem to me that there is a connection. I'm kinda stupid, so I'm going to say that there is. That is funny to me, but it would make sense. When d-bag David screwed my mom over, she felt completely annihilated. How did she deal with it? She ate food. She needed some form of feeling good. She needed to be loved. Results? She gained a solid amount of weight, most of it was fat.

To look at the converse, if a woman is taken care of, she will want to give whatever her guy wants/needs. As a guy looking at this, I'm only more inspired to accept and encourage the women in my life. If I could give advice based on this new (to me) idea, it would be to accept and enjoy their presence. If you have a significant other, just gush on them. Think about them a lot. Don't live your life with them at the center, but make sure that they are right next to you when you are in the middle of the adventure. If they are taken care of, they will WANT to give you everything that you desire. To relate back a bit, they will WANT to be your trophy wife. They will WANT to look great for you. It certainly won't be for society. #$%^ society! So, take good care of her and she will do the same for you.